D71: POLSKA SINGAPUR SINGAPUR POLSKA

Zjadłem wczoraj w pierwszym, dużym przybliżeniu 7500kcal, all things considered nie tak dużo, taki klasyczny dyskomfort z rana, obudziłem się o 7, ale wstałem o 12. W głowie umiarkowany natłok myśli, sporo pomysłów. Nie takich pomysłów, że wow. Brak poczucia sensu/celu w życiu jest odnotowany i po prostu szukanie pomysłu na punkt zaczepienia, żeby w coś uwierzyć. Uwierzysz, że gdzieś należysz, że nie ty jedyny.

Oglądałem sobie dokumenty i wywiady z seryjnymi mordercami, sporo empatii, potem filozoficzne wywody, jeszcze więcej utożsamiania. Puściłem sobie Tryb samolot, wziąłem prysznic, zostawiłem go, wjechało trochę energii i jakoś tak w przypływie akceptacji, że nikt mnie do niczego nie zmusza i mogę sobie znowu dziś porządzić w starbucku (i nawet taki wstępny plan, że zacznę od kawki i audiocalla z Bolem, a potem pojadę na Clark Quay do Burger Kinga i starbucka), pomyślałem, że zacznę od tej kawki na siłce. No pressure ?, pozdro Jhene.

I w takim umiarkowanym i chwilowym poczuciu wyzwolenia wyszedłem szybkim krokiem na busa, uciekł mi, ale jednak zawalczyłem i tuż przed wyjazdem z zatoczki się zatrzymał jeszcze, dzięki czemu jest większa przyjemność, jak było powiedziane w Uzależnieniu od rozwiązywania problemów. A w kawałku o sztukach szorowałeś po pokładzie.

I se jadę z otwartym umysłem na siłkę, może mnie w ogóle nie wpuszczą z nowym karnetem, może się nafukam kawką i połamię plecy, może se od razu pójdę do macdo czy coś. I to wszystko będzie okej. Po prostu mam z otwartością i świadomością przyjmować to wszystko tym, czym jest. Ni mniej nie więcej. Tu i teraz. A co będzie, to będzie, to będzie, co los da. Polska Singapur, Singapur Polska.

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