Masz to u mnie jak w szwajcarskich bankach, jeszcze nieraz zrobisz oczy jak manga, to wartosc roku, teraz na mnie fokus, 24 na dobe, 365… uwazaj, zeby nie powiedziec za duzo

Nikt nie wierzy we mnie bardziej niz ja, zycie jest tym, co z niego zrobie, mozliwosci mnostwo. Jako ze chce ta suke zrobic na bostwo, to przy podpisywaniu paktu z diablem, na podstawie ktorego nie moge powiedziec za duzo (wiec lepiej mowic mniej, bo milczenie jest zlotem, mowa nawet zlotoustych srebrem jedynie), jedyne zawahanie bylo nad tym, zeby podpisac sie w miare ladnie. Nie mialem zadnych watpliwosci, czy powinienem. Bo choc nie straci sie tego, czego sie nie zaryzykowalo, choc z ryzyka nie rezygnuja tylko glupi, to mam prawo rzucic to, nie mam prawa czaic sie i przesrac sobie zycia. Od jutra cos jak nowy etap w zyciu, cos jak wyzwanie i to nie w stylu jak Bialy z malego miasteczka poszedl do duzego za Czarnym bo dostal wiecej na godzine (choc to nie zaden dis, Bialy jest spoko, profesjonalista, poza tym zawsze dawal mi wiecej na stafmila!)

Bez kitu, pamietam jak kolega ze szkoly (prawdziwej, polskiej, nie to co tu), ktory chyba o cos ma do mnie cos jak pretensje, albo jakies zale (nie wiem do konca, nie wiem, nie mnie to oceniac) powiedzial mi, ze ma wrazenie, jak bym chcial wiezc zycie jak w filmach, kiedy myslalem, zeby wyjechac sobie do Australii. Cos w tym jest – w najdluzszym moim wpisie z 22.01.2007 wyznalem, ze mialem zajawke w wieku 19 lat, zeby sie przed „20” ozenic, miec swoje mieszkanie i ogolnie dorosle zycie w niedojrzalym wieku. Wyszlo inaczej, i pojawila sie zajawka (a moze i koniecznosc, jak to wyznalem pewnej slawie telewizyjnej, nie moge miec teraz dziewczyny, a wlasciwie, jak to mawia Acz16m.: no dobra, zadnej na stale) na jakies ciekawe zycie (ciekawe czy Cie to interesuje, czytelniku?), w sensie, ze za 20 lat jak *apparently* mnie stary syf powie „witaj w domu” bede mogl byc spotkanym w marnej knajpie, ale ty musialbys sie odwazyc i najpierw podejsc, posluchac…

Po mojej prawicy widze juz po raz kolejny kartony przygotowane na komputer, obok ksiazki, papiery dokumenty, wiekszosc ciuchow jeszcze sie suszy po praniu. Rano zjem jajecznice z 6 jajek, 4 gorace bulki z maslem, 3 kubki herbaty z 12 lyzeczkami cukru, okapie sie, ogarne ogolnie czy wszystko wzialem i pojade z Nickiem do nowego dla mnie miasta, nowego miejsca i wydaje mi sie rowniez, ze do jakiejs nowej przygody, poznawac nowych ludzi, miec nowe problemy, znajdywac na nie nowe rozwiazania, ogolnie ciezko pracowac, bo juz zdaje sie podniecalem nieraz, ze bede mial jedynie czas, na 3H, prace, szkole, jedzenie, spanie i amfetamine. Ale co do ciezkiej pracy, to niesposob, zebym nie zawarl tego tekstu tu i teraz. Jak zdalem z chemii do dzis nie wiem, ale wiem, ze diamenty powstaja pod cisnieniem…

Te swiatla miasta, sklepy, kluby nie sluza mi, staje sie za bardzo uczuciowy, kiedy coraz bardziej mysle, ze moge ogarnac OE, kiedy podejmuje sluszne decyzje (za Arezzo jestem z siebie dumny, jak prawdziwy narcyz) i ogolnie, kiedy w ciagu trzech miesiacy mimo kilku porzadych downswingow, zero emocji, jak uczyl Teddy M11. Jak widac, mozna byc za bardzo uczuciowym bez emocji, bo chce czegos wiecej niz tylko emocje tu, bo swiat jest twmoj.

Ogolnie wiec jestem optymista przed 2007/08. Moze niepotrzebnie jaram sie Renem, skoro nie dal dzis rady uzyc swoich mocy na Lazienkowskiej, gdzie lubinianie po uczciwej grze szczesliwie wygrali. +1/4 mimo to uwazam za dobra decyzje, Craxa 0 bezapelacyjne 3-1 raczej potwierdzaja moja opinie, podobnie jak wczesniej w tym tygodniu Under 2,25 na Roosevelta 81 i -1,75 na Foteliki, watpliwosci mam przy Wisle, podobnie jak przy innych niskich pejaltrejsziach, ale przyjdzie czas na analize, bo na wszystko, co sluszne przychodzi czas, ogolnie moze to jednak prawda, ze wszystko co nie wychodzi, nie wychodzi tylko z tej przyczyny, zeby wyszlo very soon cos jeszcze lepszego? Moze. Za to ja sadze, ze teraz przyszedl czas na spac pojscie, bo najzwyklej i po ludzku jestem zmeczony dniem… Zwlaszcza ze za 4 godziny, minut 14, wstac bede probowal. Do zobaczenia w lepszych czasach!

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